I hate going grocery shopping. I know some people love it, but I would rather stay at home and clean the goons' nasty toilet which is to say I really really hate grocery shopping.
What I hate even more than grocery shopping at the regular local grocer is shopping at the military commissary on payday. I know. Why would a sane woman do such a thing?...But, we really needed some of the basics and I knew I would save some money if I just sucked it up and went to brave the commissary jungle.
Knowing it was payday, I armed myself with baby wipes and a handful of lollipops to keep Jack quiet and to keep him from grabbing items off the shelf or, even better, from grabbing other shoppers (he takes personal delight in scaring the heck out of little old retirees). The wipes are to wipe everything that he comes in contact with, and the lollipops are to keep him from screaming like a banshee to hear his voice echo.
Well, even though I had mentally pshyched myself up for the haul, and even though Jack was in a better than usual shopping mood...we did not stay long. This is because as soon as I walked into the commissary I noticed a middle aged gentleman standing close to the apples messing with his hands. I walked closer not only because I needed some apples, but because I wanted to see what he was up to. (I think I was a spy in my other life.)
I will tell you what he was up to...he was up to an act that should be left to only the bathroom and then only over the commode or a trashcan. Yes....Yes...HE WAS CLIPPING HIS FINGERNAILS!!!!!!!
Why on earth did he think then was the time for this personal grooming act? Did he say to himself, "Oh Gee, look at those delicious red apples..and oh...before I choose my produce from the pile I need to take care of those hangnails."
I came home with my grocery load and proceeded to go through everything with a fine tooth comb to make sure that there were not any stray articles in my food. As I say this, I realize that there are things grosser than fingernails that are in some of our food items, but I would prefer to concentrate on the moon shaped clippings that I actually saw fly in the air and land in the cushy little apple holders...because thanks to a friend who recently gave me Micheal Pollan's newest book to read I can't seem to worry enough about my food and what I am feeding my family. Oh god, add it to my list of worries.
2 comments:
GROSS! Cutting his fingernails?!!! And yes, what were you thinking...comissary on a payday? Glad you survived the experience.
Yeah!...and p.s. thanks for the book. It has made a huge impact! Trey is hoping to get through it before you get back. We hope you all are having a great time, and I am hoping you father's recovery is going smoothly and quickly.
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