Free Car Wash

Yes, it is that time of year where my husband creates a mental checklist of all the things that need to be accomplished around the house so that he can actually sit back and relax when he is at home. The top of his list for quite some time has been to wash and wax the cars. As he had the day off today, the entire family set out to help old daddy'o check the box next to one of his housekeeping items.

Lessons learned:

1.) 4.5 year old boys are only interested in the hose and dousing all surrounding items other than the car.
2.) 1.5 year olds are only interested in eating the sponges or running madly from parents with the cleaning sponges only to launch the clean sponges into a flower bed once the parent gets too close.
3.) Moms should not wear any white clothing while helping with car wash.
4.) Dads should take Valium before attempting to direct family in the car wash basics.
5.) Explain to drenched children that the appropriate place to strip down to your birthday suit is in the home and not outside when all the neighborhood children are returning from their first day of school.
6.) Cleaning cars with children takes approximately 2 hours longer than it should.

I'm back....

Well, I have been on a bit of a hiatus. To be honest, there has not been that much to gripe about (smile), so I have not needed to take my issues to cyberspace.

So, in light of the fact that there is nothing too major to bitch about I have decided to use this time, space, brain fart area, to log some recent happenings at our humble abode.

My son Cole (now 4.5 years old, and the self-proclaimed Mensa member of our house), and my son Jack (17 mos. old future tight end) are on a mission from God to make their mother break down in an hysterical fit of laughter.

Today's log: Easter in August

Cole is not all that too keen on playing with his little brother. His little brother has no sense of order, does not mind disarray, and could care less if things are 'just so'. So, in order to keep the peace in my house I have purchased the equivalent of the Berlin Wall to successfully separate my family room from the rest of the house. Jack is trapped in the family room whereas my eldest has free rein of the rest of the house. To appease Jack's desire to be free, I decided to take the plastic Easter eggs down from the craft closet for him to play with. All mothers know of these eggs: they come in many crazy colors, are fairly difficult to actually get a bottom to match with a top, and tend to multiply like bunnies when put away until needed for the next season.

As suspected, Jack LOVED the Easter eggs. His squeals of delight could be heard from all over the house....those same squeals...attracted the attention of Cole.

Cole was drawn from the recesses of the house and ran to the family room to see what in the world could possibly be entertaining his little brother more than himself. His question was answered in short order as one perfectly purple Easter egg went whizzing by his ear.

Immediately Cole enters Jacks cage and proceeds to collect the Easter eggs in a small bin he has provided for the sole purpose of hoarding every single last one of these never ending plastic crap holders. Now. The race is on!

Cole collects all the eggs in an astonishing 6.5 sec. Jack sees the threat and knows that his chances are slim in gaining back the control of the eggs. BUT, all is not lost. Jack understands the intellectual pull at play and races with all his might to the basket in hopes of extracting one, only one, little egg. He reaches his goal and takes a shining yellow egg for his prize and runs like hell through the barrier gate that usually keeps him confined to his cage. Cole, sensing the loss of one of a million damn eggs, drops his basket and runs with equal fury to tackle his brother and make him relinquish the one yellow egg. Jack sees the threat. He pulls back the egg to a point behind his right ear and launches that sucker into next week. The crowd goes wild.

Cole dives for the egg, and while doing so misses that the crafty Jack has pivoted with superior speed and has started to dart back to the dropped basket of eggs. It is a race. A race for plastic eggs.

Jack runs for his life. Cole senses danger and heads back to his hoard. (picture, if you will, that the theme song from 'Chariots of Fire' is playing in the background)

The two brothers are racing to their goal. Each one trying to outstrip the other. Jack knows that Cole is on his heals and decides to do the only thing he knows he has mastered above his brother....yes, ladies and gentlemen...he throws himself a good 3 feet to land, full body, on the dropped basket...and proceeds to scream like a banshee.


Score stands: Cole: 2,500,000...Jack 4 (but getting craftier)
Lesson Learned: Don't drop your basket of eggs.