Snot

The little goons and I have all been hit by a nasty virus that seems to take up residence in the sinus passages and chest cavity. The virus has officially been declared all the more nasty as my sons' interest in their bodily productions have increased. (Mom, I know you will gag your way through this entry!)

In past entries, I have invested a large amount of time and energy investigating the dark and unknown territory of what makes boys tick. Sadly, I am no closer to understanding the nuances of the male gender, however my past week with boys and snot has almost sent me over the edge of sanity.

My oldest goon is a very very very picky eater. He requires all of his food to be separated and he is specific about temperature and texture. Bacon is ordered "hot and floppy, please". It is astounding that this same goon who will not eat pasta has no problem pulling virus by-products from his mouth and nose to look at, play with, and then throw back down the hatch. My littlest goon, on the other hand, likes to see what interesting formations his by-products will create if they go unaddressed by a tissue. God forbid that you may want to actually create a hole in his nostril for him to breathe through.

Due to our little virus, I have spent the last days running into each room with a tissue ready to do battle against the goons' natural inclinations toward snot. I have run myself ragged trying to keep them sanitary and presentable. I have talked to my oldest goon until I am blue in the face about mucous being actually "nose poop" thinking this analogy would surely gross him out. I forgot male gender nuance number one: fascination with all things having to do with the bathroom. Nose poop is now a hilarious five year old boy playground joke.

Last night I was sharing my snot issues with my husband. As a physician, he should support my war against inappropriate snot handling. He should gather up his own tissue bazooka and join the 'snot patrol' as my son now calls me. Well, my husband was clearly in agreement about our role as parents to keep at it...to fight the good fight...but, apparently the apple does not fall far from the tree. My own husband admitted, after a long pause, the he understood the fascination with one's own boogers. He did the same things as a kid. And you know what....??? The aforementioned pause was not a pause in time to allow the speaker to gather the courage to admit this great secret...he was mulling over my oddity because I would prefer not to examine the tissue after I have used it.

Post Monster Truck Jam

Cole was one tuckered out little goon by the end of our big night. We all had a very good time together and will take away many long lasting memories from the event. Due to overwhelming weariness, Cole requested we leave during the intermission which featured a mullet contest. I believe the mullet entitled, "The Kentucky Waterfall" was crowned the winner.

I am also proud to report that one quarter of the showcased Monster Trucks hailed from the Tidewater Virginia area. Little did Trey and I know that our hometown was the birthplace of so many revered mechanical wonders.

Lastly, we now understand where the Air Force is spending its recruiting budget dollars. They have found that the most effective way to reach thier target audience is by sponsoring a Monster Truck of thier very own: The AfterBurner. I am a wee bit concerned what we may see next...

Monster Truck Jam

"Today is the day! Today is the day!" - This is what I heard at 4am this morning from my biggest little goon. Needless to say he is pretty excited about today. (Albeit, in my book 4am is really still the day before.) Today is the Monster Truck Jam, and WE are ALL going as a family (minus my littlest goon).

We have never been to a Monster Truck show and really have no idea what to expect. When I have told people where we are headed this weekend for our cultural experience, I have recieved mixed expressions: rasied eyebrows, full out laughter, puzzled looks because no one wants to offend, and the free snippet of advice ("ya know...you really should bring ear plugs or somethin'. Them things put out some sound!").

Cole is a bundle of energy that can barely be contained on a good day. Today he is Jiffy Pop popcorn. He really has no idea what to expect other than lots of trucks and the smashing of a bunch of trucks. Right up his alley. He got to pick our family adventure because he has been super good and cooperative getting his eye drops every day for dialation, and was even better when the doctor said that we needed to go back to daily patching. This was a bit of a blow as Cole loved the eye drops. They were not quite as public as the eye patch, but his eye started to mis-align again so...here we are again..Ce la vie! Cole said it well, "Mom, I hate the patch...but, I don't want another surgery....so, I guess I'll hafta wear it....Do I have to wear it to the Monster Truck show?"

No, my little one. You don't have to wear it to the show, but, now that you mention it, what the heck do you wear to a Monster Truck rally?

You surely don't want to look out of place at the Monster Truck show. I love to do some people watching but I am not a big fan of people watching me...hence the need to blend in. I guess I should spend my time researching appropriate monster truck apparel while my goons are at the pit using thier 'oh-so cool' pit passes.

My Walker

Here he is! My beautiful nephew. What a joy to be an Aunt.

Boo-Boo Bunny Bites Back

Boo-Boo Bunny has been an integral part of our household for sometime. He lives in the freezer and he makes special appearances only when one of my little goons fall down, bump into an inanimate object, or scrape a part of thier precious little body. His icy goodness is perfect for a fast numb on any hurt.

Boo-Boo Bunny has helped needless tears dissappear, especially in the case of my oldest goon. If Cole should have a need, he can go right to the freezer and locate his pal and tend to his own wounds. (Wow, he is growing up so fast!) Yesterday, Cole needed his frosty little long-eared friend. Don't ask me why. It could be any number of issues: he fell, he had a hangnail, he bit his lip, he had an itch. I lose track...but, it doesn't matter because that is why we have a Boo-Boo Bunny. I could hear the entire transaction from my duty station in the laundry room. It went like this:

Little Goon: Ooouuuch! Ooooowwwwieeeeeee! Yikes!!!!!! It really really really really hurts. (pitter patter of feet from bedroom to kitchen) Where are youuuuuu? I need you Boo-Boo Bunny. (Sound of Freezer Door being snatched open--a little too vigorously) Ahhhhh!!!! That is so much better.
Me: Hey hon?
Little Goon: Yes, Mom.
Me: Are you okay?
Little Goon: Yup....(pause) I just..you know...hurt my...oh, look a little hole.
Me: Cole, please make sure you shut the door gently.
Little Goon: Okay Mom!

The day progresses as usual in our little household. Both boys are fed, washed, cuddled and put to bed with books, songs, and nightime prayers. Trey and I proceed to get ourselves ready for bed which includes Trey getting us both a big glass of ice water to set on our respective night tables.

All I know is that I was in bed with the comfy covers pulled up to my chin when I heard Trey go out to the kitchen to get our water. The normal sounds permeated back to our bedroom. The glasses being pulled down from the shelf, the cabinet door closing, and the icemaker rolling...and rolling and rolling. Trey opened the freezer door, and then I heard what sounded like a million small rocks hitting the tile floor. The last sound I heard before I turned off the light was one of Trey's classic Yosemite Sam-like exclamations about the "frickin frackin bleepity bleep blasted Boo-Boo Bunny".

It would seem that Cole found a new home for Boo-Boo Bunny. In the ice chute connecting the ice maker to the door...

I sank further down into the covers and laughed until I cried.

Update

I survived Jump and Learn. It is safe to say that both Cole and I have grown since last year. I truly am getting better at letting my kids be kids and not worrying one bit about what other people think.

Cole did great, and Jack did okay. Nothing that a little lollipop action could not fix. Yes, I went to discuss healthy eating habits only to give my toddler a lollipop. It kept him quiet and he was much more content to be strapped down to his stroller. What of it!!??

I am getting so good at not caring that when my son announced to the silent and attentive room that his mommy was, "not so Lung Smart because she smoked in college"...I didn't even flinch. I smiled and shrugged, and I was able to look around the room and see the hidden smiles of those people that probably did the same...and maybe I helped them to be honest with thier children too. Cole you are already wiser than your mom...I hope you stay that way. Innocence is wonderful.

Jump and Learn 2008

Okay, so here's the situation...my parents went away for a weeks vacation...they left the keys to the brand new Porsche...Just a little step back with Will Smith before he became Ali.

The real situation IS that today is Jump and Learn day at Cole's school. Please see my earliest posts for my past adventures with Jump and Learn. I believe my last statement regarding the subject was "never again". Well, some quickly whipped up tears and big brown cow eyes has me packing up to try again. How can I refuse when my son wraps his arms around my neck while I drink my morning coffee to whisper in my ear, "you know mommy, it just isn't the same without you." Brilliant! He knows exactly what I want/need to hear.

I just got my big forehead stamp out of the desk drawer. The one that stamps in big, beautiful and bold red letters: SUCKER.

I will follow up to see if a year has made any difference for the success of Jump and Learn.

One thing is for sure, Jack is going to keep me busy when I am not Jumping and Learning.