First, I want to apologize to all of my friends that have been so patiently waiting for me to reappear on the surface of the Earth. Most of you know that when the going gets tough for me, instead of reaching out to my friends for love and support I go into, "hunker down, get tough, and solve the problem" mode.
The simple and so called well planned move that I had meticulously mapped out for our transfer from Jacksonville to Virginia Beach hit the fan. The house that we had originally planned to move into (and signed a 2 year lease for) was un-safe for living conditions when we arrived. Needless to say, we broke the lease (with the moving truck en route), hired a lawyer and dickered with our less than human would-be-landlord. For about a week, Trey and I worked through our lawyer to recover, what is to us, a good deal of money all while trying to figure out how long me, the dog, Cole and Jack were going to live with my parents (who have been the most incredibly accommodating parents in the world). ((PS - I had to do this with only 3 days of supplies packed from our household goods as I had planned a door-to-door move. I should be committed1!!))
In addition, I had to buy a completely new wardrobe for our trip to England (which was incredible...more on the fun, camaraderie, insane amounts of booze, and patriotic partnerships on a future post). I know. It should have been wonderful. I love to shop. However, I hate to shop when I HAVE to find things for SPECIFIC events. (Megan, I couldn't stop thinking of you during these days!)
Okay, last part of the pity party...when we got home from England. I arrived to 3 exhausted grandparents and a dog with a chin three times it's original size. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but my damn dog was sick again and required medical attention AND our home rented out to a nice family back in J-ville had lost air conditioning. Was this karma or Murphy's Law? Am still not sure...
This is all occurring as Trey is living out of the BOQ in Jacksonville while I am trying to find a new place to live.
Reading back through this, I realize that my tone may be misconstrued to some. I am completely aware that I am extremely lucky. We have food in our mouths and a nice roof over our heads, and we have love ones close to us to help us out in this "not really that bad" of times...and we are together. But it makes me think, "what would I have done if this happened when we were moving somewhere else other than our home base?". "Could I do this on my own if needed?". I went through a mini nervous breakdown during these events, would I truly have what it takes in me to make sure I stay strong when the going gets a little tough.
I have learned that a fun jar for kids is the best thing around. I have become seriously less attached to all of those material things in my life that I once thought I couldn't be without. My family is wonderful and I love them with all my heart, but MY family doesn't work without Trey. No matter how much help I had from the myriad of wonderful friends and family here at the beach, it never fit back into place until Trey was physically back with Cole, Jack and myself.
I am really scared. I have to make this family work without Trey. He can't be with us all the time..it's the nature of the Navy. And, this will be different from how he couldn't always be with us during his residency/intern training. If possible, it is even a bit more out of my control.
My heart, tears and love go out to all of my mom friends that are doing it alone now (Lucia, Emily P.), and those that have done it alone in the past (Kristen, Chenoa, Lucinda, Miste, my mother, my grandmother), and to those that know that they will have to do it again in the future. You all have my utmost respect not only for you as women, but for your family's center strength. Don't leave me when I finally pay my dues. (However, I am looking forward to not having to shave my legs for any length of time that I so choose.)
In conclusion, we are still living with my parents with an expected move in date to our new rental (a home that is exactly 2.5 blocks from the oceanfront- so please come visit us) on August 1st. Trey graduated from residency and joined us here on July 1st, and now we are trying to give our kids some sense of routine and consistency together. In the end, I can say that everything happens for a reason and someone out there thought there were some life lessons I needed to learn before we set about our new journey here in Virginia.
Well, I am listening...and learning...
PS: I will be sending out new contact information some time this week. I miss you guys that kept checking the blog for updates and sending me little "where are you" notes. Please know that I am getting back on track and you can count on a little-Nisha love coming to a theater near you sometime real soon.
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5 comments:
Hooray....so glad to see you back on-line, but so sorry to hear about all of the mayhem. Funny isn't it how each move brings along its own chaos despite our well researched, well planned details...I keep telling myself with each move I will use this as a learning experience and surely the next move will be easier but it always seems to be hell. And so sorry about the situation with the house...sounds like it was wise to get out of that place as quickly as possible. And 2 blocks from the beach? Sounds very tempting...if you hear pounding on your door it might be me with my two wild monkey beasts. Hang in there. And enjoy getting settled near the beach. Hello to the boys and congratulations to Trey on his graduation and his award. And congratulations to you for surviving residency!
Nish,
I am so sorry for all of the drama. As crappy as it is life wouldn't be the same without it. You are certainly able to handle what comes your way. I am certain of it. God knew what you needed and He provided. He will do the same when Trey has to go. Plus you should already be settled before that happens which will help tremedously. I so wanted to call you while I was home. I almost resorted to calling information to find your parents number but I realized I didn't know what town they lived in. Our trip was good but hard. So much going on. I realize I'm going to be 34 but I didn't expect to be dealing with the realization that my parents are aging this soon. Enjoy your time close to grandparents even when it's hard. You'll be glad you had it. I know you know that so I hope I don't sound preachy. I hate to do that. Missing you and hoping things fall into place soon. Give your boys hugs from us. Can't wait to catch up. Love you friend!
K
Nish, you are seriously one of the smartest, bravest, strongest women I know. I always thought I was so lucky to have you as a friend.
Sending big hugs, Emily
Tonight as I finished answering emails that were put on hold during my extended stay in VaBeach, I started to miss my seester, my nephew, my nieceling, her family and especially the little goons. I just asked Spencer if he'd like to take a trip to 7/11. He looked at me like I had lost my mind (not a look I am unfamiliar with, by the way!) So imagine the thrill I felt to look onto your blog and see that you had posted. It is not nearly as wonderful as being in Stratford Place, but it is, never the less, a treat to read about you.
Hunkering down is a good thing, but asking for help -- or just asking someone to borrow a shoulder -- is a good thing, too. Take if from someone who didn't ask for help for 33 years and is still trying to crawl out of dark holes. The good times, the bad times, I'll be on your side for ever more.........that's what friends [family] is for! (Am I mistaken, or did Dionne Warwick and Elton John just walk through the room singing?!?!?)
Anyhoo, thanks for making me feel like I'm still a fly on the wall!
Love ya baby, love ya baby!
Thank God you are back online. I have missed your writing for awhile now. Good to see you and your family yesterday. Love you Nisha. You are the best and I am so proud of what you have accomplished and the great wife and mother you have become. And, you paint kick-ass outdoor furniture!! Even though it was Katie and not me who broke the blue chair!
Love ya,
Al-ass
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